Ebenezers

During our Redemption Community* meeting last night, we were studying through Ephesians 6:10-18. The idea was brought up by one of our RC family members that spiritual warfare with all its negativity possible is buffeted and beaten out by God's over-reaching glory found in renewing our minds by remembering how faithful God has been to us throughout our lives. I couldn't agree more. As I have gained more years (all of my 35 at the pinning of this post), I can't help but think back to the many integral moments in life when God has been pleased to bring me through trial and flame to become more like Him on the other side and how He has never abandoned me or my family through our struggles and failures. Here are just a few stones of remembrance, ebenezers** as it were:

We lost two houses, both because of the housing bubble which burst back in 2008 and making a decision to get into real estate investment at the peak. The first in 2010 after having made it for two years making payments that were unsustainable and, the second, more delayed but still connected, in 2015 after eventually moving back there after another year. After the loss of our first house in 2010, we were technically homeless as we had renters in the other. A wonderful family took us in for a month while we tried to find a new place to rent. My parents-in-law helped us by paying our rent after that for quite a while. We had loss, but never were destitute. I felt shame for not being able to provide for my family even with a 4 year degree and a full-time job in education. We were on AHCCSS (AZ's low income health care), food stamps, and WIC. Eventually, debts wiped away/let go of, we were able to start breathing financially again. We currently live in my cousin's rental house which he has allowed us to live in for an incredibly gracious rent amount which allows us to rebuild. There are still residuals from the pain of those debts and losses, but God keeps showing up and providing for us.

Our second child refused to eat when she was a baby because my wife got pregnant with our third child and her milk supply dried. She was in Phoenix Children's Hospital being trained how to take an artificial nipple and had a feeding tube through her nose for a couple months after we brought her home, being fed while she slept. She is currently 11, in 6th grade, healthy and growing.

My wife gave birth to our fourth child back in 2012. Immediately following our daughter through the birth canal, my wife's uterus and bladder both prolapsed severely. God saw fit that we were done having children (we would have had one more which alone caused grief of loss). My wife also needed a hysterectomy and a sling to hold her bladder in place. A year and a half later, summer 2013, she had surgery to do just that. She asked the surgeon to use her own tissues to hold up her bladder, he said he would "try." He put in a surgical mesh sling instead with no sign of a try to adhere to her wishes. She suffered mightily over the next four years because the mesh was put in wrong. It had been attached to her muscle in her thigh instead of anchored around her pelvis which is customary and right. The mesh caused her to have constant and ever-increasing shooting pains throughout her whole body the way your legs may feel if it falls asleep and then the blood starts flowing again, but through her entire body. She had two major surgeries in 2017 to remove the mesh. The second surgery was to remove all the remnants missed during the first surgery, but the mesh anchor was not where it was supposed to be but in her muscle causing there to be a much greater recovery time and pain. She had so much pain up to her surgeries that she was administered and prescribed narcotics. Her body became addicted. After the first surgery, a pain doctor refused to prescribe more narcotics even though they knew she'd been on them for over a year and she had just had surgery. She responded so poorly to going cold turkey that she ended up in the ER and almost died a month after her first surgery. Through the tears, pain, uncertainty, and grief, our God has remained faithful to us. Lots of people helped us with meals, prayers, friendly support. My wife's recovery took over a year from her second surgery, but I now feel that I have my wife back and we are on a path to health physically again.

For I am convinced:

God is good. He alone satisfies.

God is great. He alone is in control.

God is glorious. He alone is to be feared.

God is gracious. He alone proves Himself in my place.

In Him I put my trust.
LORD, I believe.  Help my unbelief.

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*"We believe that God designed us to be in relationship with one another and that there is simply no substitute for doing life with others in a shared pursuit of honoring God. Redemption Communities provide a context for people to live out their faith in the support, accountability, and stretching that is inherent in community." From Redemption Peoria's Ministries page.

**Ebenezer is found in the Old Testament of the Bible in 1 Sam 7:12 meaning "stone of help," a tradition started by Joshua found here as a way to teach the next generation about God's faithfulness and help:

Joshua 4:5-7 English Standard Version (ESV)

5 And Joshua said to them, “Pass on before the ark of the Lord your God into the midst of the Jordan, and take up each of you a stone upon his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the people of Israel, 6 that this may be a sign among you. When your children ask in time to come, ‘What do those stones mean to you?’ 7 then you shall tell them that the waters of the Jordan were cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord. When it passed over the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. So these stones shall be to the people of Israel a memorial forever.”